


I Remain

by Raynidreams



Category: Blake's 7
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-24
Updated: 2011-08-24
Packaged: 2017-10-23 00:55:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/244469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raynidreams/pseuds/Raynidreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during 'Rumours of Death' - Avon POV from a prompt 'Afloat'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Remain

I'm drifting when I need to be more focused than ever. Afloat when I need to be here, in this room, this ship, this place... this empty cold and forsaken place.

It could have only been minutes, perhaps hours, or even days... whatever the case, I cannot allow my mind to escape and loose itself from this prison; the prison of my body and from the jail of my resolve. For I am resolved. I will have my revenge. I will finish what was begun so long ago and be done with it --the last chain that holds me back. For without her, without the grasp of my grief, I can and will be free.

Pain... pain... it comes and goes. Everything they visit, I take it whilst clinging on to my purpose... and in doing so, I'm battered against the rocks by the tide. So poetic. I laugh out loud madly and to no one. My words sound like Cally. I can almost see her here too, sitting by my side, looking at me like I'm broken.

“She has strange ideas.”

And I realise I've said this out loud, but it's no matter.  It means nothing to those who listen, though I need to be careful of such slips in future. Thinking about Cally, it's strange that she did not argue when I told her in private that I needed... 'closure' was the word I think I used.  However, she had other words about how I intended to do it. She's so like me and yet so not...

Agony flares. Hold on... hold on... must... Shrinker... Bartholomew... I will hold on.

They started with fingers, the skin... breaking and burning. Then there were the drugs, the ones that made my mind flare with connections that didn't exist anymore. Of people I'd known, of places I'd been but so mixed up and perverted from how I remember them. It was with those pictures that I floated more than ever; images of her, so perfect by my side... her voice, her face... her body warm and my reaction... I felt all these things as if I was beholding her for the first time... but I never told them. Won't tell them, not until he comes. Her name and mine are locked in the deepest part of me.

The light stays on, depriving me of the calm of darkness.

I can, I will, I must endure the tide of agony, until he comes.

Her torturer.  My torturer; my victim.  And then the last.  I will have him in my hands.

Only when he comes and I take a piece back for her will I ever truly be free. Until then, I must not forget who I am. I must not forget who she is. I must not sink and I cannot tell them anything.

The door opens and he enters.

My mouth curls slightly.

At last, my beloved Anna, you and I shall be free. And I can let you go... let you float away... and I will remain, me.


End file.
